Saturday, August 23, 2008

This post is a slap in the face!

Isn’t it actually considerably more insulting to Hillary Clinton (and to women in general) to presume that she’s some kind of hypersensitive shrinking violet who feels snubbed by everything always? And isn’t it pretty offensive to Clinton’s professionalism to believe, as the HillaryIs44 people do, that she’s being completely disingenuous in her support for Obama (isn’t that what they accuse him of?) and is really just winking in their direction?

Hillary’s a big girl. She’s not an emo highschooler who cries when the popular kids make fun of her. She’s fine.

I mean honestly. Vote for Obama or don't, but really, you guys are dragging your pal way down.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Attn: white people: fuck more! (pt. 2)

With the news that the browns and blacks will soon combine, Megazord-like, to statistically pwn the white majority, it's fun to watch people scramble to justify such a horror.

It's 'cause abortion!
After reading a half dozen articles concerning the majority/minority status of citizens in the United States, and noting that all of them projected the white race will become a minority by 2042, one vital fact seemed to have been ignored. A question arises as to why Caucasians in our country are drifting into a minority status so rapidly. Not a single comment was cited or even hinted that the white race is ABORTING itself into an eventual state of extinction.
Funny, and here I was thinking it was the black drug addict welfare queens who <3 abortion. It's all bullshit, of course, and it doesn't take someone of WorldNetDaily-esque intellect to figure that out. But I don't mean to bring down Jacob Sullum for doing me that courtesy:

But ethnic and racial minorities already comprise a majority of the nation's population. The current U.S. population is about 300 million. There are roughly 46 million Hispanic Americans, 40 million African Americans, 35 million Irish Americans, 16 million Italian Americans, 15 million Asian Americans, 10 million Polish Americans, 3 million Greek Americans, and 3 million Russian Americans. That's a majority right there, and I've left out a bunch of ethnic groups.
Well naturally. In 2042, we will still be fearfully discussing how white people are soon to be a minority, simply because the definitions of "white" and "majority" will continue to shift for convenience's sake, like it always has.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Attn: white people: fuck more! (pt. 1)

Hey white people, stop oppressing me for a few minutes and read up: in a few more years, you might be your own special kind of minority. The NYT confirms it: soon enough, ethnic and racial minorities will form a combined majority of the population. They've been writing this shit since I was a kid so I would have guessed it either would've happened by now or that even the most racist fucks would've begun to come to grips with the notion.

But life is hard when you're white, rich, and paranoid, so it just doesn't work out that easily. Thank God you have a blog so you don't have to keep the stuff of your most haunting nightmares to yourself.

Whenever news like this causes just such a freakout, it's usually best to ignore the halfhearted cries for full on racial warfare that still come from increasingly isolated fringes. Frankly I prefer they be left alone to smear shit on each other's faces in peace. Makes it easier for all of us, really.

Rather than just concede that they're pissed off that the blacks and browns are outfucking them, most onlookers are expressing their irritation by cunningly diverting their fear of change into a fear of widespread social ills that they usually had preferred to ignore but which are convenient to pull out if it helps to bring those guys down a notch. Take John Derbyshire, star commentator of the premiere conservative publication, the National Review, who totally understands race; he watches the VH1 after all:

The black-white test gap seems to be intractable. Hispanic school success has been tracked across four generations, with depressing results [...].

So… in order to ensure we don't end up mid-century with "a very, very poor disposable class that's largely black or brown," we merely have to do a thing that nobody knows how to do.

Perhaps we could produce time travel, cold fusion, and personal immortality while we're at it?


Call me a skeptic but I don't really think that Derb's heartfelt concern here is for the millions of undereducated nonwhite children running around. His heartfelt concern is that the millions of undereducated nonwhite children might one day try to steal his Blackberry.

So okay, blacks and Hispanics will never catch up to white kids, ergo more of them = bad. Never mind extreme economic disparities, underfunded and overcrowded schools, unemployment rates, or underpaid teachers. Forget all that shit: something is just wrong with those people--but we're a mainstream publication, so we can't just say that, but you know what we mean, wink nudge.